…More Than Sweet Potatoes

Never Have I Ever… (Part 2)

The proverbial bomb had been dropped.  KC had let the cat out of the bag.  I was mortified.  I kept hearing the words over and over in my head.  From a whisper building up to a scream…

“…YOU WERE HER FIRST!”

As I shielded my face from view with my tiny baby sized hands, Number 1 turned to me, jaw agape, and asked “is that true??”

t2-prof-tanya-84030_130213c

No, I just normally sit with my face buried in my hands while I turn Crayola red.  This is just how I normally sit.

“Yes…”

“I can’t believe I didn’t know that.”

“Well, I purposely didn’t tell you…so…”

This conversation topic was, surprisingly, dropped a minute later and we moved on to having some diet cokes while attempting to wait out the storm but not get drunk – we were going to be driving, after all.

When the storm ended, we walked back to our cars (well, KC’s and Number 1’s) which happened to be on the same level of the same parking garage.  KC got in her car and I walked Number 1 to his to (a) thank him for buying a round or two, and (b) say goodbye, likely forever.

When we got to his car, we hugged.  Tightly.  For too long.  And then we broke in order for him to look me dead in the eyes and ask if I had to go or if I wanted to get a hotel room near the bar with him.  There was something poetic about it, but I came with KC, I was going to leave with KC.  Not only would it have been exceptionally shitty of me to ditch her an hour and a half away from her house when she drove up here specifically for my needs, but also, something about one-night-stand-ing-it with the same guy, twice just felt wrong.

So I declined and headed back to KC’s car to fill her in on what had happened.  After quizzing me about whether or not I wanted to spend the night with him, she offered that he could come down to her place in Miami Lakes.  So I called him and invited him and before we were out of the parking garage, he had her address in his GPS and was on his way in our direction.

I got all jittery.  I was a mix of excited and uncomfortable.  What was going to happen?  What did he think was going to happen?  Okay, I mean, we all know what he thought, but I still questioned it.  KC made me promise I wouldn’t have sex on her couch, and I fully agreed.  We were giggling and singing along with the radio when about 25 minutes later we got a call from Number 1.  His car had broken down on his drive south.  He was a couple exits behind us, and had called AAA, but he was sitting there bored and waiting it out.  So KC decided we would go to him.

We pulled up behind his broken down car, and he hopped into our car.  We hung out and chatted away while waiting for AAA to get there, but quickly ran out of conversation topics.  And then someone – really I can’t recall who – thought it’d be fun to play “I Never” or “Never Have I Ever” depending on who you ask.

If you’ve never played, the game goes like this: every one starts with 10 fingers up in the air.  Then, in some order, each person says “Never have I ever [fill in the blank with something they’ve never done]” and anyone playing who HAS done that thing puts a finger down.  When all of your ten fingers are down, you’re out.  The last person with fingers up wins.  Or something.

This game is best played in high school or college because by the time you’re a full grown adult, there aren’t many things you haven’t done that many people have.

Bless you, human who created this card.  Bless you.

Bless you, human who created this card. Bless you.

But we played anyway.  We had pretty quickly gotten down to 3 fingers left each and we began scratching our heads to try to come up with anything we hadn’t done that, foresee-ably, the others had.

My turn: “Never have I ever lived in the state of Florida!” They both put down a finger.

KC’s turn: “Never have I ever gone to Purdue.” Number 1 and I put down a finger.

Number 1’s turn: “Never have I ever lost my virginity to someone in this car.

“Fuck you!  You JUST found that out.  That’s not fair.” This outburst was followed by a ton of laughter as AAA finally pulled up, towed his car away and we traveled to KC’s laughing, story telling and planning how he was going to get home the next morning. **

We got back to the apartment, exhausted from the excitement of the day and the actual time of night and KC excused herself to her room while I made the pull out couch into a “bed” and got in with Number 1.  We made out a good amount, but I made good on my promise to not have sex on her couch.  The next morning, I showered and packed up, we all packed into KC’s car and she took us both to the airport where I headed for my flight and Number 1 headed for the rental car counters.

We hugged, laughed one last time about him being my first and vowed to not let it be three years before we talked again.

And it wasn’t, but that’s a story for another day.


**A lot of this story is riddled with long, run on, grammatically incorrect sentences.  If you noticed this and are happy that I addressed it in this addendum, you are not only a complete douche, but you’re also entirely on my level and I dig it.

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