…More Than Sweet Potatoes

Fear and Loathing: Part 5

After some time searching for MiddleShirt HallwayTurtle (the second portion of the nickname clearly created itself,) McNugget and I texted Karen and Beefcake to come back to the room and to get a cot delivered.

We decided against waiting for them and just got in bed.  It’s worth noting that McNugget and I were the only ones in our group with hotel keys.  I don’t know how we decided we were the responsible ones, but the point is that Karen and Beefcake did not have a key.

So McNugget, MiddleShirt HallwayTurtle and I got into the king sized bed (me in the middle like the cream in an oreo cookie) and started drifting off to sleep when there was a knock at the door and in stumbled our missing 2 friends.

Without a cot.

Apparently they had never gotten our text and didn’t know (1) that a cot was needed – apparently we can sleep five-deep on a king sized bed? and (2) that we had found MiddleShirt.

We called down for a cot, they sent one up, we all passed out around 4am.

I woke up at 8:30.


How could you NOT want to cuddle puddle with these guys?!

I don’t know why.  So I quietly got out of bed, went to the bathroom to get ready for the day.  I sat on the floor in the corner of the room playing on my phone and reading from my Kindle app when I got bored.  I slid back into the middle spot on the bed and announced “Everyone get up.  I’m awake.  I’m bored.  And it’s my birthday weekend, so if I am up, everyone is up!”

Surprisingly – and not without protest – everyone did get up.  At first it was for a cuddle puddle on the bed with all of us flailing around reliving the events of the night before.  But then, we got up, put on our swimsuits and headed down to the pool.  We found a few chairs next to the hot tub (who the fuck needs a hot tub in Vegas?!  Make it a smaller version of a cool pool, people!) and ordered breakfast – read: alcoholic drinks.  Then we went down the slide that goes through – wait for it – a SHARK TANK!!!!


Yep – the slide goes THROUGH the tank!

The idea?  Incredible.  The actuality of it?  Kind of boring.  It’s so quick, you’d have to spider your limbs out in order to go slow enough to see even one shark.  But the slide was fun!

After this, we made our way back through the hotel/casino’s we had patronized the day before.  First to the Hard Rock to cash in my sports bet winnings.  Second, back to Planet Hollywood to go to a Brazilian Steak House with dreams of meat sweats and future bathroom destruction.

I think you can gauge your Vegas vacation by how many meals you remember eating.  I remember four.  Over four days.  So obviously it was an awesome trip.

I ate more than Karen and all the boys while we chatted away.  We covered the bad gambling bets we had made, the good ones we had won, the strippers’ lap-dancing skills, someone’s lack in ability to get laid, and the mixed bag of sleeping arrangements that had occurred over the last few days.

We decided to move the party to a more chill location for the rest of our Sunday and headed back to McNugget’s place.  We picked up vodka, Powerade and some chips on the way and hung out by/in the pool for a few hours.  Scott drove back from whence he came leaving Jack, Karen, McNugget, MiddleShirt HallwayTurtle, Beefcake, and me to continue the drinking on our own.


As the day wore on, while some were nursing a meat coma, we all started to feel weary.  Beefcake had to start making his trek back home to Arizona, at which point he realized he was missing his backpack.

Don’t worry, Karen knew where it was – it was upstairs, by the bedroom that she and I were sharing…

So naturally, she had to take him upstairs to show him where it was, right?  Naturally.  There’s no way he would have found it himself.  Right?  Right!

…which is where we’ll end for today because I only have one more night in Vegas to share and I want it to be as exciting to read it as it was to live it.

One comment on “Fear and Loathing: Part 5

  1. markbialczak
    August 2, 2015

    Oh, what a life you lead, Deb. Shark tank?! No matter the speed, it still sounds scary. 😉


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