…More Than Sweet Potatoes

Napoleon: Corsica is Waiting

Previously, in our Napoleon story, the two of us girls had finally opened the dialogue about having dated the same person.  We were pretty toasty from all the wine and began hashing out timelines with each other.

You know that time I went on our little weekend trip alone while Napoleon texted me that he should have joined me and that he wasn’t having a good weekend here at home?  As it turns out, he was having more than a delightful time hanging out with her… I never gave her a name, did I?  Let’s go with Kara.  So while I was on our weekend trip, he was hanging out with Kara.

Kara found out that the day he couldn’t go out to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with her, he was making a celebratory meal with me.

And remember that day when I got back and he came over all excited to hang out with me and he pushed me away from him in my own bed?  Well, according to Kara, that was the day he was planning to “break up” with me, let me down easy and then begin dating her full time.


I mean, come on, you have to know girls are going to talk…

Because he is such a nice guy he didn’t want to let things get to serious with her without letting me know it was over.

However, he didn’t do a very good job of that.  If you’ll recall, I’m the one who brought up not being ready for a datingship with me.  I’m the one who was “right.”  In fact, he never made any mention to me at all that he was considering ending things at all…

… unless that was the plan all along

make me do the dirty work by being obviously distant…

Could be….?

Nah, he’s not that smart or clever.

Kara and I went into details.  “Did you guys have a date on this day that he told me he was busy with his family?”  “So THAT’S why he didn’t come over after work that day, he was with you?”

We kept drinking.  Fortified with libations and a newly rekindled friendship, we posted on facebook that we were hanging out and sharing dirty little secrets.  I’d be lying if I said we didn’t hope with every ounce of our being that he’d see the post and be concerned/annoyed.  Passive Aggressive, party of two…?

Eventually this led to him calling Kara, calling her out (or really, calling US out) which actually made her get really angry and upset.  While I wasn’t very invested in him to begin with, it seemed she had been.  Maybe not in a real and deep way, but there was something in the experience which was still bothering her… so I took it upon myself to try to shift the blame and the focus from her to me and give her a break from the wrath of Napoleon.


After I called him out for having no right to be mad about us talking about him being a bag of dicks, this happened (and yes, I am paraphrasing):

Napoleon: I feel bad for how I treated you.  I wanted to say something before.  Help you understand.

Me: Sounds like that’s not at all my problem.

Napoleon:  Well now we can talk about it, clear the air.

Me: 12 months later?  No thanks.

Over the prior 12 months, I had run into him a few times here and there.  It was always awkward.  Like “oh hey….we’ll hug but that’s just because we don’t know what else we’re supposed to do in this situation…” awkward.  But after the above exchange, well I haven’t heard or seen from him since.

I don’t think he intended to hurt me – which is good, because he didn’t really – or try to be a two-timing (sort of) bag dicks.  I do think he felt bad about it, but honestly, none of that is my problem.

In one night, Kara and I had gone from friendly acquaintances to bonded by the strings of sisterhood.  We had drank, laughed, cried (alcohol, people…alcohol) and moved on.  I released whatever anger I had felt toward Napoleon, and we banished him to Corsica in our minds.

Have you ever caught someone two-timing you?  What did you do?  Did you confront the person?  Did you confront the other woman/man?  

And that, my dear readers, is the end of our Napoleon story.  And actually, since that “clear the air” conversation, I haven’t seen or spoken to him once… here’s hoping he doesn’t hate me for writing this story… or actually, nah, I’m good.  🙂

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This entry was posted on May 25, 2015 by in 2014, date, dating, Friends, Napoleon, single, story and tagged , , , , , , .
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