This started as a rant to a friend about menstruation. It – luckily for everyone, really – turned into a list of things that I consider to be important pieces of
life advise experience plans thoughts oh, I don’t know. These are things I feel strongly about. That’ll work. We shall call it The Tao of Ilene.
I fully support any medical research that would allow for a woman’s menstrual cycle to be turned on when procreation is desired and turned off when it is not.
I also fully support a regulatory system that would require mental stability testing before allowing it to be turned on.
I fully support everyone’s right to choose what works for them – and the ability to change this as often as they’d like – as long as it does not directly affect someone else’s ability to do what works for them.
I fully support the idea that government assistance should be applied for like a job, and that receipt of said assistance should require drug testing much like every other job, a probationary period, and yearly reviews.
I fully support questioning everything you know or think you know. Question everything you’re taught. Ask questions, find answers that make sense to you so that you know you believe in something or know something for a reason. Do not blindly follow what you’ve been taught or grew up around.
I fully support reminding people that speaking negatively about themselves is fucking stupid – not to mention really fucking annoying. Find a way to be happy with yourself; all of yourself. It’s okay to slip here and there, but don’t EVER put your happiness and positive feedback in the hands of others. “Does this dress make me look fat?” “Does that dress make you FEEL fat? Because what I think shouldn’t change how you feel.”
I fully support the weakness of others. Do not just allow yourself to feel weak and downtrodden, encourage it. It gives you perspective and grace. It gives you empathy for when others are feeling down. It also helps you learn how to grow out of it and learn something incredibly important: how and when to ask for help.
I fully suggest that “understoof” be a recognized spelling for “understood” since, for whatever inane reason, my hands fucking REFUSE to type understood correctly without backspacing.
I fully support helping those who need it but, more importantly, knowing when your “help” is band-aiding the issue thus hindering people from helping themselves.
I strongly suggest the use of a “Just In Case” bag if you have a vehicle. No, this is not an emergency bag with flares, hand-crank-radio, etc. The Just In Case bag is a bag of items you may need just in case your plans change last minute and you don’t want to bail because you were ill prepared. Items in my Just In Case bag include, but are not limited to, a bathing suit, a towel, comfy shorts, a black tank top, a set of undergarments, a toothbrush, a contact case, and a dress/skirt convertible thing.
I fully support the idea of doing things that are reckless and irrational… assuming that you are aware of the reckless irrationality of it. If you want to spend $100,000 on a car when you already have a perfectly good car and actually can’t afford to spend $100,000, I support doing it. Just don’t try to justify the irrationality away. “Oh, it has better gas mileage.” “I work in a status based field.” Just call it what it is, own it, and enjoy it! Oh, and don’t you DARE complain later about needing to save money. Actually just don’t complain about money. Or boast about it. Ever. It’s annoying. And it’s your personal business. Not mine or anyone else’s.
I fully support anyone disagreeing with anything and everything I am saying. Just because something works for me doesn’t mean it works for you. THIS CONCEPT APPLIES TO ALL THINGS. We have free will. Enjoy it.
And if you like some of the pieces of The Tao of Ilene, please feel free to adopt it into your own daily life.