Last week on The Bachelor… we went bowling, exchanged gifts and took in a comedy show for my neighbors birthday. Everything had been going well until he began to restart doing a couple things I had been pretty clear about not appreciating. When I brought that up, I was told that he likes to do those things because he likes to see me squirm…
… at this point I was frustrated. On the one hand, he was blatantly telling me that he actively chose to ignore things that made me unhappy. On the other hand, I have a tendency to get over people at the two month mark – which was quickly approaching – and only focus on the negatives until I’ve talked myself out of the dating/relationship. I decided to table the feelings and potential argument for another day. It was the 30th. The next day was New Year’s Eve. It wasn’t worth it.
Instead, we curled up on the couch, watched some TV and hung out. I (last minute, oops) invited him to join me at the epic New Year’s Eve party I was going to the next night, to which he agreed, and then he went home.
The next day was a frenzy of texts and coordination. Between a group text of three ladies, a second group text with 2 boys and a single text with The Bachelor, I was failing hard at communication. We ended up deciding to all do dinner separately and then carpool to Mindy’s for her extravagant party of fun. The Bachelor came over around 5 and we went to dinner together at a sushi restaurant I like quite a bit.
After ordering hot sake, a spicy tuna appetizer and our entree rolls, The Bachelor received a phone call that was work related, so he apologized and took the call. I would have preferred if he had taken it outside, or away from the table, but such is the technological world in which we live. Anyway, while he was on the phone, I opened up some news application on mine. And I read that Edward Hermann had died. Richard Gilmore. So I decided to google some of his acting history. When The Bachelor was done with the phone I told him.
Me: Edward Hermann died.
The Bachelor: Who is that?
Me: He’s an actor. He was Richard Gilmore.
The Bachelor: Who?
Me: [insert other explanation of the person about whom I am speaking]
The Bachelor: And this is important…. why?
Me: [long pause to see if maybe he was kidding] Because learning something new is always important for growth and knowledge.
The Bachelor: I guess to you…
Me: and maybe because I’d like to imagine if something is interesting to me you’d at least pretend to have some interest in it as well…
This was met with silence…so we just went back to eating and pretended that the conversation never happened. We then left, went back to the house to do, um, stuff… then get ready and get picked up for the party.
I texted one of my friends (who would be in the car with us) to let her know that I was feeling unusually annoyed with The Bachelor and that her job was to make sure I didn’t get drunk and do or say something stupid/make a big deal.
Then it was off to the party. When we got there, I introduced him to the people he hadn’t yet met, got us some drinks and then we sort of split up. The boys congregated together; the girls congregated together. At some point I went over to the “boy side” of the party to hang out and say hi. I found The Bachelor failing MISERABLY at playing bags/corn hole/bean-bag-ramp-with-hole. Like, not even close to the board miserably…. I also listened to him fail at making conversation with an entire group of guys who all happen to like, play, and/or watch sports. Which he does not. Mostly.
Seriously, Why do I think this is okay for me?! I HAVE A DEGREE IN SPORTS…
We ended up sitting together and chatting away in groups. We drank decently heavily, played the best drinking game of all time – Boomtown – and enjoyed our night. We kissed at midnight (followed by me kissing about 10-15 friends) and then I got a bit too drunk. So we requested an Uber to take us back to my house.
Getting the Uber was a bit of a bitch: the driver couldn’t find the place, then needed to go pick up her husband as well (which she charged me for,) couldn’t get to him because of traffic, decided to abandon the idea and drove us back.
When we walked in, I immediately put on PJs and went to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I walked into the bedroom, The Bachelor was standing near me, fully clothed, just staring at me.
Me: Okay! Bedtime! Let’s go to bed!
The Bachelor: I am going to get going…
Me: Um. Okay? Why?
The Bachelor: I have my reasons.
Me: …and I’m sure they’re all very valid, but it’s 2am, you’re not sober and you should sleep here
The Bachelor: I’m fine
Me: Okay. Even if you are fine to drive – which you’re not – at 2am, pretty much everyone on the road is drunk. It’s really unsafe.
The Bachelor: So you want me to stay?
Me: I want you to not leave. I want you to not get in a car. I want you to not get in an accident. I want you to not die.
The Bachelor: That’s not really the response I was going for
Me: Well, it’s the truth and it’s the response you’re going to get.
The Bachelor: Whatever. You don’t want to cuddle with me anyway.
Me: That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to stay. Those are not mutually exclusive [yes, I do use phrases like that when I’m drunk.]
This went on a while at which point I gave up. I basically said “Fine. Go. Drive a car. Get arrested. Get in a car accident. Do whatever you want. My opinion doesn’t matter.”
Come back and read next week for the penultimate (or maybe final…one can never know, can they?) post about The Bachelor and our story. Did we work it out? Did he get home safely? Did he apologize for being annoying? Did I apologize for being annoyed? Find out next week on The Bachelor. 🙂