Last week, on The Bachelor… after my Thanksgiving trip I had decided to put more of my focus into this budding relationship. We spent more time together and finally spent the night together, but I was put off by being told that he wanted to see me cry and didn’t exactly care about my stories.
A few days after our overnight date and morning coffee good-bye, The Bachelor and I re-convened for a “night in” at my place. Per usual, he brought me a bottle of Tito’s vodka, but I had already started finishing a bottle of red I had open. I was sitting on the front stoop with my neighbor just chatting away. I had filled her in on The Bachelor and all the wonderful things he was doing and how well he was treating me. How much he seemed to really like me. When he arrived, I let him into my place to get a glass of ice and prep his drink and come back outside.
He and my neighbor got to know each other and then we went inside to keep drinking and hanging out. We watched some TV when my alcohol levels tipped JUST ENOUGH for me to do something I basically NEVER do…
I played piano for him. I even sang a little.
I have a lot of anxiety over playing and singing. I know I’m good. I know I’m skilled. But playing piano has always been like a form of therapy for me. It’s been my private get-away from my over-thinking brain. So to share that with someone else; let them into my private world; a place where my vulnerability runs rampant; …that’s a big deal for me.
Then we thought it’d be a delightful idea to get under the influence of something other than alcohol. Vague on purpose, but it’s pretty obvious, yes?
I warned him that I have a 30 minute window afterward before I need to pass out. Literally. Whereas he warned me that his reaction is to get hyper and easily bored. A recipe for disaster. So, naturally, we did it anyway.
Then we went to my bedroom to get things…um… going? He got a solid hour out of me before I realized I was very barely awake. I started to feel uncomfortable about the fact that I was 10% awake while he was doing things to me. So I asked him to stop. I asked him to spend the night again, but he said he was too hyper to fall asleep right now, so he was going to go home. He did lay down with me for a little while I kept fighting my urge to fall asleep. Then he left.
We made plans to hang out on the upcoming Saturday.
When Saturday rolled around I had scheduled myself a long run, a trip to the dog park, and a trip to a delicious hole-in-the-wall BBQ joint with friends. Afterward, I was supposed to meet up with The Bachelor, but the friends asked me (strongly) to join them at a nearby bar. I had to run an errand, but promised to go. So I went and texted The Bachelor to invite him to join me. He apparently made dinner plans (I thought we had plans?) but said he’d come by after. Which he did. Around 7 or 8 (and I yelled to the cabby, yo homes, smell ya later.) He chatted with a couple of my friends for a bit but basically we ended up hanging out and playing pool by ourselves. (There is a date some time prior to this day that we went on even though I wasn’t feeling well. We went in an attempt to find a place to play pool and failed.) I haven’t checked with my friends, but I am pretty confident that the conversation topics that evening were either music or fishing. (Friends, feel free to pipe in here.)
We then left my friends to go have a little “together” time. He took me to his work – a piano store. It was just the two of us, and thirty something pianos that all say “to not touch or place items on piano.” I got to see the piano “graveyard” of parts that are being re-purposed for refurbished pieces. It was pretty cool. Until he had to do some work… and then it was even more cool, because he pulled me over to a piano, gave me a stool and told me to play. I played intro after intro and bridges after bridges of Billy Joel songs on a concert grand. It sounded like heaven. I sounded like I knew what I was doing.
When he was done with work, he came over, stood over me and pulled me back into a kiss. This progressed a lot and quickly, but I found myself really uncomfortable with the extent to which he was pushing things while in his place of business. Maybe it was the fact that I was facing a $40,000 instrument. Maybe I was just not feeling it that day. Either way, I stopped it. I kept using the time and the fact that I had to be up early the next day as the reason why I needed to go home.
He walked me to my car,
gave me the date rose kissed me good-night, and sent me on my way.
Tune in next week for the next episode of The Bachelor where we had our next date night in, went bowling with a large group of friends, and he met my cousin-friend.