…More Than Sweet Potatoes

Just the tip, just to see how it feels…

Passion Parties Logo_full

A couple of weeks ago I attended a “Passion Party.”

If you already know what that is, you can skip ahead to the next paragraph.  For the rest of you, passion parties are when some self-employed (read: housewife or bored post-collegiate aged female) host a party of females at someones house and show off a bunch of sex toys for women, men, and couples.

I’m not very well versed in the area of toys and what-nots.  Let’s call me a prude and move on, shall we?  That said, I have this insatiable need to learn, so I spent my time at this party asking every possible question and taking notes.

How do you wash that?  Does that come in other scents? From what material is this made? How long does the battery hold a charge? Is that waterproof?  What exactly is that used for?  Does that have a higher end version as well?  Which of these are NOT edible?

girl-studying

I ended up biting the bullet and buying a massage package of this cream that starts as a cream and ends as an oil, a scented candle, and two warming pods.  The warming things are SUPER cool.  There’s a metal piece inside of it that you pop and it causes a chemical reaction inside the pod which makes it hot.  Eventually it hardens.  In order to reactivate it, you put it in a pot of boiling water for a few minutes and then it’s ready to use again.  Forever.

I wouldn’t say I was particularly “comfortable” with the nature of the party (again, remember that whole thing where we call me a prude?) but it was leaps and bounds above the awkwardness of my first passion party.


December 10th, 2005*

I was in Indianapolis visiting my friend Natalie.  I have no idea what else happened that weekend except for probably a trip to The Alley Cat and a cover band show of some sort.  Saturday night we went to one of her friends apartments (a girl I had never met before) with about 10 other girls, 9 of which were also completely unknown to me.  I knew one friend – Sarah – in addition to Natalie.  The apartment resident was hosting a sex toy party and I was now thrown into being a part of it.  I immediately felt uncomfortable being relatively inexperienced in the field of the opposite sex, and even less experienced in the field of my own business.

All the usual suspects were there.  Dildos, vibrators, massaging oils, personal lubricants, and creams.  I tasted a lot of edible things.  I remember really digging the cinnamon warming lube, but I don’t remember much else.

baconlube

I have mixed feelings about this.

Except, I remember the fleshlight.  Except it wasn’t called the fleshlight yet.  It was just this rubbery vagina with which a male could masturbate and not feel like he was fucking his hand.  I turned the color white as the concept of this item was explained to me.  Then they passed it around for every to touch.  I was dreading the moments when it would be in my possession and came up with a game plan to get out of even touching it at all when it was skillfully placed in my unsuspecting hand.  The host squirted some lube onto it and forced me to put my fingers inside of it.  Upon this happening I said what I’m sure any of you would have said: “Well if THIS is what it feels like, I TOTALLY get it.”

I didn’t buy anything that day, but I did get my sex toy cherry popped in the most awkwardly forced fleshlight way possible.

Have you ever been at a Passion Party.  Have you ever finger blasted a fleshlight?  Are you now completely scarred from this post?

*date is a complete approximation as I have no idea when this weekend happened.  I seem to recall it being during a school break.  I don’t even remember if it was winter or summer.  I do know it was sometime in the last two years of college though…

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One comment on “Just the tip, just to see how it feels…

  1. Ann St. Vincent
    January 29, 2015

    Fleshlights creep me out. Especially the website that has the porn star holding the one moulded from them. Ugh.

    Like

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