Did you know you can get a DUI while riding your bike?
Actually, that’s not entirely factual. You can’t get a DUI (driving under the influence) but you can get a OWI (operating while intoxicated.)
I probably should have gotten one of these on Sunday. Instead, I got a world of hurt. And here’s why:
Sunday afternoon I met my friend, who we’ll call Shelby, to ride our bikes to the beach. It was 73 degrees, slightly breezy and sunny out. I wasn’t about to waste the day indoors. We rode to the beach, parked our bikes and spent a few hours laying out, talking about boys, and drinking wine and vodka sodas.
We then relocated to a neighboring bar, locked our bikes to a tree we’ve since dubbed “the trust tree” and grabbed a beer and a jello shot before realizing we needed food.
We left our bikes and walked over to my new favorite location near the beach for food. We ordered bloody marys (because obviously we needed to drink more) and some shrimp. We flirted with many of the staff members and ate fresh shucked oysters and clams. We had soup and chips. We were challenged to chug our drinks and were given extra rounds (in the form of little chips we can use later) for completing said challenge.
We then got on our bikes to head back home.
It may be important to the story to know…
…I have to cross a bridge to get home.
As we rode up to the bridge, Shelby suggested that we walk our bikes over the bridge, but I assured her we were fine…
…at which point I fell.
To the best of my knowledge, here is what I think happened:
I think I swiped the wall on the right side, overcompensated to the left, hit the little curb thing that separates the walkway from the street portion of the bridge and fell over it into the road.
I got up immediately because I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD, walked my bike down the rest of the way, got back on at the bottom of the bridge and hauled ass home. Where I laid down, took a few hour nap probably due to a let down from adrenaline (while my phone died,) woke up, and tried to fix my phone so I could video chat with my friends from home. After the video chat I realized I was bleeding and all cut up and bruised on my legs. I took some pain medication, drank a bottle of water and immediately went to sleep.
I woke up every hour or two as I’d roll over onto yet another bruised area and wake up in pain. The next morning in the shower I found even more bruising.
I’m lucky I didn’t get an OWI. I’m lucky I didn’t get hit by a car.
I’m also a G-d damn mess.