…More Than Sweet Potatoes

Welcome to the Dirty Mistresses Club

Good day to all you lovely followers of Debbie’s blog! As you may have picked up, I am not Debbie. But I HAVE had the distinct pleasure of knowing her for the better part of a decade. And when she asked me to guest post, I couldn’t say no. It’s like that one time she started an anonymous-but-not-really blog…and invited me to jump on her bandwagon…and we rolled with it so far as to creating our very own MYSPACE account for the lovely and sassy Quinn Sanders who Debbie made up and who was, in fact, way cooler than us.

Oh right. You’re probably still wondering who the hell I am. I’m Chrissy. I write a little blog called Quirky Chrissy where I talk about falling down, eating cheese, and dressing like a Polack. Feel free to visit me. I like new friends.

So anyways, one of the things that Debbie and I shared was a series of bad dating decisions. Obviously, I’ll let her tell her own stories, but I would love to share the little club that we formed together somewhere in our early twenties. We called it the Dirty Mistresses Club, and to join our little cool bad girls’ club, you need to have made one of the following mistakes:

  • Making out with someone’s boyfriend/fiance/husband
  • Sleeping with someone’s boyfriend/fiance/husband
  • Dating someone’s boyfriend/fiance/husband
  • Stealing someone’s boyfriend/fiance/husband

And for the record, there were at least four ladies in our group. When you became a member of our club, we even sent out little e-cards that looked something like this:

Welcome to

We weren’t just ashamed of our mistakes…we were also proud of them. In a way that only girls who skirt the line of good and evil can be. We convinced ourselves that we weren’t in the wrong. And maybe to some degree, we weren’t. We were single ladies. We weren’t cheating on anyone. Sometimes, we didn’t even know that there was another lady in the picture. But other times we did. And we didn’t care. Because we felt that we had a claim to these guys. Even though they were wickedly bad. Even though we shouldn’t have wanted cheaters for ourselves. Because. BAD.

Almost every guy I dated left me for another lady. And many of them cheated on their new ladies with…wait for it…yours truly. And my boyfriend wonders why I had insecurity issues…

My high school boyfriend cheated on one of his girlfriends after me…with me.

My college boyfriend cheated on almost every girlfriend after me…with me.

I found myself accidentally dating a guy who had a girlfriend.

When I started sexy talk with a newly engaged guy friend, though…that was a low for me. And that was when we started the DMC. I believed that I was crazy in love. We had been flirting for years. He had a girlfriend, but we had chemistry. I called him Fourth of July (as my DMC nickname, so as not to give away who I was talking about) because kissing him was like time-stops-fourth-of-july-fucking-fireworks. Keep in mind I only kissed him once. Okay, fine, twice. And he was living in another state. So we’d have phone dates. With sexy talk.

Bad. Bad. Bad.

Eventually, he married the girl he was engaged to. And I moved on. I haven’t talked to Fourth of July since.

Other than dating a man who was going through a divorce (they were already separated!), I made it a point to avoid the dirty mistress thing if I could help it.

And we got smarter about our dating habits. -ish.

We tried anyways.

Being brave

This is a conversation from a long, long time ago.

What worked the best though, when trying to get over the bad boys?

Girls Night Out.

Dining. Drinking. Dancing.

No phones. No boys. No sex.

Girls Night Out

Girls’ night out with Chrissy and Debbie – circa a long fucking time ago.

 

Would you fit the membership criteria for the Dirty Mistresses Club? Do you love bad boys (or bad girls)? What bad dating decisions have you made? How do you get over the bad boys?

 

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7 comments on “Welcome to the Dirty Mistresses Club

  1. lillithelaine
    November 24, 2014

    Yep I would have belonged! I behave now but I’ve yet to figure out how to get over some of the bad boys. Love your post!

    Like

  2. April @FTM&D
    November 24, 2014

    I certainly love bad boys. I always said if you line 100 guys, with 99 being AMAZING and one being a raging bad boy asshole, I would all in love with him on the spot. So yeah, pretty much all of my dating choices were very poor.

    Like

  3. maurnas
    November 27, 2014

    I have never intentionally done that. But I unintentionaly have several times. I’m not at all suspicious. And I would never cheat so it never occurs to me that others would. I’ve been cheated on too. But I was honestly relieved he was leaving me alone.

    Like

  4. Deborah Ilene
    December 1, 2014

    (1) I totally know who I was talking about in that conversation. I’ve written about him in this blog before. (2) That picture is absolutely from Howl at the Moon after we were given syringe jello shots by a sexy construction worker. (3) THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS!

    Like

  5. Deborah Ilene
    December 1, 2014

    Oh also, remember when I dyed my hair lighter? Good thing there’s photographic proof.

    Like

  6. onechicklette
    June 1, 2015

    Unfortunately, yes. YES.

    Like

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This entry was posted on November 24, 2014 by in Blog, dating, Friends, Sex and tagged , , , , , , .
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