…More Than Sweet Potatoes

The Day The Data Died (bye bye Miss American Pie)

I have three or four different topics that I’ve created drafts for and I’ve been sitting in front of the computer for 5 hours today and still this post is late.

I’m typically a punctual person.  Very timely, this one.

But something happened and I couldn’t fix it.  I couldn’t stop it.  I had to accept it and move on.


My world felt this broken.

I had to reset my phone to factory settings

A couple weeks back I was trying to update an app on my phone when I got a little pop-up notification that I didn’t have enough space on my phone for the update.

I made an almost audible guffaw because I had just recently deleted about 400 pictures and 20 videos and a few applications I was no longer using.



So being the iPhone connoisseur that I am (sarcasm) I followed the directions on the screen to get to my usage where I could see what was hogging all my space.

The applications and programs are listed in order of how much memory they are using…so it’s actually quite easy to figure this out.

Messages: 4.2GB

4.2GB?!  I don’t even know what a GB is, but I assume it stands for “gravy boat” and my messages are hogging 4.2 gravy boats!  That’s a lot of gravy boats!


This x2 is how many messages were being stored on my phone.

That’s not bad.  That’s an easy fix!” I say to myself. “I’ll just go and delete all my text messages.  I don’t need to keep them anymore!

This proved to not be so easy, in fact.  When I deleted a conversation, the rest of them would freeze in place and when I would click on it to open it, I could only see the most recent text in the conversation.  The only way to fix this was to restart the phone and then…surprise…the recently deleted conversation was magically back on my phone.

I tried a hard reset (press and hold top flat ovally looking button and round with square button until apple appears on screen) but that didn’t fix anything.

Luckily I had backed up my phone this morning on my computer and made sure all my pictures were safely on the rarely-working-laptop.  Actually, remind me to put everything on my external hard drive…

So I erased it.

The whole thing.

To blank.

To factory settings.

Eventually the iCloud kicked in (what does this even mean?  I picture a cloud that is raining applications and texts) and my contacts were all populated again.


But I don’t have pictures.

Or any texts from anyone.

Or any of my applications.

And it’s kind of fucking fantastic.

I feel so off the grid…

…you know, for someone

who is entirely ON the grid.

And now, not one of my applications is taking up any gravy boats.  I have a few things that take up some kinky boots (KB) and one thing taking up 1.6 mexican beetles (MB.)

And that’s why I didn’t post something intuitive today.

That and I’m lazy, my brain is off and I want to go curl up in bed due to my insulin reaction to last nights noodles that I knew better than to eat…

Have you ever had to start from scratch with your lifeline phone?  What was the hardest part?   What application takes up the most gravy boats on your phone?


8 comments on “The Day The Data Died (bye bye Miss American Pie)

  1. maurnas
    August 21, 2014

    I if had known your problem was just 4.2 Gravy Boats, I could have told you how to fix it. Now, I personally do not like gravy, but I assume you do. All you do is make a big bowl of mashed cauliflower, then take your phone, go into the settings menu, there is an invisible icon at the bottom. Just feel around down there till you find it. When you press the icon, you hold the phone over the mashed cauliflower. All your 4.2 worth of gravy boats with fall out into the bowl. It is basically all your data converted to literal gravy. Then you eat it, and the digital information is permanently deposited into your brain pan.

    It’s science.

    But now you know for next time.


    • Deborah Ilene
      August 25, 2014

      What?! I didn’t have to reset it??? Crap. What do I do to get rid of the Kinky boots and the mexican beetles?


  2. Ben Cotton
    August 21, 2014

    As someone with a meteorology degree who now works in cloud computing, believe me when I say your description of iCloud could not be any more accurate.


  3. Christopher S. Malone
    August 23, 2014

    I haven’t had to start over just yet … knock on wood. When that day comes. Everyone will know.


    • Christopher S. Malone
      August 23, 2014

      (That sounded insensitive. I’m sorry for your loss.)


      • Deborah Ilene
        August 25, 2014

        I actually didn’t find it insensitive. Man, I hope for your sake you never have to start from scratch. While it’s oddly freeing, I’m finding it to be also frustrating when I go search for information I no longer have access to.


  4. Aussa Lorens
    August 24, 2014

    Oh lord, yes. This, all of this. The deleting texts thing, which freezes the phone and then you restart it and they come back. It’s iPhone zombie apocalypse. Why can’t they just auto erase after like 30 days? Surely that’s long enough to figure out whether you’re going to need that shite for a lawsuit or something.


    • Deborah Ilene
      August 25, 2014

      Someone write a letter to apple and let them know that they need to install a code called the “Aussa Clause” that eliminates all texts that are older than 30 days. This will allow the used to email themselves the conversation if they need to keep it for longer.

      Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on August 21, 2014 by in 2014, iPod, iTunes, personal, Photos, Pictures and tagged , , , , , , , .
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