You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.
So, in case you didn’t pick up on it from the 29 before 29 list, my days as a 28 year old person are coming to an end soon and I’m headed toward 29. This means I started reevaluating my life. I do this all the time. I’ve blogged about it before.
Every time a life event happens, people evaluate. It’s fruitless, mostly. You can’t change your past and you can’t dictate your future. How you reacted to something in the past will have no impact on your future since that situation cannot happen again exactly as it did. That moment was (and is) ephemeral. It’s gone. Every new experience is exactly that: new. But that’s not my point…
My point is that people sometimes wonder if they’re the person they thought they’d want to grow up to be. Are they falling short?
“Am I a good friend? Am I smart? Am I witty? Am I successful?”
We place such unrealistic expectations on ourselves to know what these things mean and then to attain them. I don’t know who I’ll be at 40 or how I’ll get to who I’ll be. I don’t know what kind of mother I’ll be (if I’m ever a mother.) I don’t know what kind of wife I’d be (again, if that happens.) I don’t know who I’ll be at 29 years old. I haven’t lived any of that yet. Shit, I don’t even know who I’m going to be tomorrow.
But I’ll tell you what: I for DAMN sure know who I am today.
Today I am a bit tired. Today I am cold. Today I am 28 and 350something days old. Today I am 5’5″. Today I am craving spicy tuna sushi rolls with a thick layer of wasabi slicked on and then dunked in spicy mayo. Today I am a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, a grandchild, a friend. Today I am single. Today I am a control enthusiast. Today I miss my family. Today I am without children. Today I am an employee.
And today? Today I am enough. I am enough for me to be happy.
What do I mean by “I am enough?” I mean that I am the exact amount of everything I need to be at this moment. I am smart enough to write this post, do my work, converse with friends. I am happy enough to smile, share a joke. I am tall enough to reach everything I need to reach. I am dexterous enough to type, write, grasp things I need to grasp. I am witty enough to inject the correct amount of silly comments to keep this an upbeat and fun read. I am successful enough to put a roof over my head, food in my mouth, clothes on my body. I’m aware enough to know that my enough may not be enough for someone else.
And that’s okay. Because I’m enough for me.
And while other people may strive to be smarter, more educated, more successful, happier, a better friend, wittier or calmer, I’ll continue to strive to accept who I am every. single. day.
To be enough.
Don’t get me wrong. I have plenty to work on. Every day I will strive to be the best me and to be that days version of good enough. Some days I may not succeed, but I’ll succeed enough for that day. I will choose to appreciate each moment and be the exact amount of “enough” that I need to be in order to be ready for the next moment.
Click the link in the above “To be enough.” to jump to the website of the wonderful human being who taught me – and a plethora of others – the concept of enough. He does not know me personally, endorse me or pay me to say any of this. It just was exactly powerful enough for me to write about it on my blog.
And just for some silliness to end on: