…More Than Sweet Potatoes

Things we just DO NOT talk about

deep-thoughts

I have this thought fairly often:  There are some things in life that I’ve been sold on keeping private.  I blame my mother for this, but she’s a very wise person so the blame isn’t negative.  It’s like blaming the sun for making me warm or blaming a boyfriend for keeping you so happy…  I digress (as I always do.)

Religion, Politics and Money

Those are the three things I (and really, you and every one else should follow suit) just do NOT talk about.  That’s not to say that my Judaism has to be hidden or that the $598 in my savings account is a secret.  What it  means is that it’s none of your G D business.  Nothing about my religious beliefs, political views or spending habits affects you at all.  If you think it does I suggest the following:

On a piece of paper, write my name at the top left.  Rip a perfect square out of the bottom right corner.  Draw a Stussy symbol in the middle about 2 inches in height.  With a red pen, underline the “D” in my name.  Say “I only know how to inhabit a world with people whose thoughts are exactly similar to mine.  I’m aware this means I will never learn other opinions, views or ideals.  I feel this way regardless of the fact that I do not have to adopt those opinions, views, or ideals into my own life just because I have knowledge of them.”  Then stab yourself in the eye.

So, fine… I’m a bit judgmental of those who are judgmental…

Stacks on stacks on stacks

Stacks on stacks on stacks

If I chose to blow $400 on a dress that I’m going to wear once, that’s my decision.  If you don’t approve of how I spend my money, don’t give me money to spend.  My monetary habits won’t have any effect on you if my money is MY money.

That said, if you DO loan me money, you have every right to question what I’m doing with it and when I will be paying you back.

I will follow your every wish and desire.  Thy will be done!  (Wow, I feel really sacrilegious right now.)

I will follow your every wish and desire. Thy will be done! (Wow, I feel really sacrilegious right now.)

If I believe that there is a magical unicorn in heaven that has her hoof in every aspect of what I do who tells me how to live my life, that’s my decision.  I can think my unicorn hates scissors and jorts.  I can KNOW my unicorn hates scissors and jorts.  So I may not want to hold your scissors or wear jorts with you, but that doesn’t make me wrong.  It makes me a believer in something you don’t understand.

That said, if you also believe in said unicorn, we can discuss it openly together.

The next POTUS?

The next POTUS?

If I think that a pencil would make a better president than Jimmy Carter (which I don’t, by the way because I am aware that a pencil is an inanimate object), that’s my decision.  It doesn’t have to be right or wrong because I’m not making YOU think it with me.  So it’s cool that you hate or love our current or ex president.  But that is an opinion.  And no matter how much you think you know, you don’t know shit because we come from a government that is much like a duck on water: it looks like it’s floating along, but underneath those little legs are paddling harder than I know how to punch.

And on this note, whatever political affiliation you think I have, you’re probably wrong since I choose based on specific issues that you’ve probably never even heard of or noticed on the ballots… I’m weird like that.

As I write this I’m very aware that there is one underlying issue that applies to ALL of these “things you should not talk about” and many others.  Opinions.

I wish there was a metal detector, but for opinions.  And opinions should have a built in “opinion receptor.”

You’re sounding a little bit bat shit crazy there, Debbie…  Explanation?

I think the only people who should be allowed to have opinions are those who understand that they have OPINIONS.  And that others have opinions as well.  And our opinions don’t have to match or be the same.  We’re allowed to have all sort of opinions.  And those opinions are YOURS.  You possess them.  If you share them with others, be prepared to accept their opinions as well.  Otherwise, shut your fucking G D pie hole.  UGH!

rejected1

Anything else we shouldn’t be talking about?

Yeah… in fact, there are other things I wish people would keep to themselves.  The following list is a non-exhaustive (but quite exhausting) list of things you should shut the hell up about:

How blessed you are proven by putting it on Facebook daily; Wanting things to be different without you making any changes; Sexual partners – quantity and/or quality; your ex; negativity towards other sports teams RATHER than just letting your team speak positively for itself; protein shake brands/mixes/recipes; pretty much everything else…

FYI, I’m guilty of almost all these things.  There’s no soap box or high horse here…just, ya know, opinions…

soap-box

END.

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2 comments on “Things we just DO NOT talk about

  1. YES!! Please note these are also topics that can quickly end friendships….not quicker than being in a wedding…but pretty dang quickly….

    Like

  2. maurnas
    May 7, 2014

    Debbie. EVERYONE hates jorts. They must be stopped.

    Like

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This entry was posted on May 1, 2014 by in Uncategorized.
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