…More Than Sweet Potatoes

“Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off”

There are a number of little “skills” that I’ve acquired through life experiences.  I’m good at handling chaos.  I have an unmatched ability to talk myself out of spending money.  I have the will-power of a walrus 2 ton bear some animal known for having will-power.  I can also lie like a champ.

taken

Now we all know lying is bad.  We’re taught at a very young age that we shouldn’t lie and that withholding the truth is just as bad as lying.  The thing is, though, that lying is a ton of fun.  It takes a specific amount of thought and follow through to lie effectively.  It takes awareness of your person as well as your words.  And, apparently, being a good liar is an indicator of your level of smarts.

lying

Being skilled at lying doesn’t mean you should lie often.  But when you do, know you’re kicking ass at it.  This power and skill comes with intense responsibility to choose your lying battles effectively.

So no, I’m not going to lie to my family or friends about whether or not I will do something for them/with them.  I’m also not going to lie to you when I fail to do something – I own up to almost all of my shortcomings, and if you disagree with that, you’re obviously new to this blog.

With great power...

With great power…

Some things that have been aided by being a good liar: (a) keeping clients happy, (b) avoiding jail, (c) maintain “acquaintances” because you just don’t lie to friends, and (d) make me very reliable for secret telling.  No matter how much someone pesters me to tell them your secret, I won’t do it.  I may (read: probably will) tell them a believable lie so they’ll drop the idea while never learning your secret.

Being a good liar also means I ROCK at the game of 2 Truths and a Lie.  I’ve played this game multiple times before with orientation groups, my youth group, new love interests, etc.  But when Aussa did it on her blog and linked to others doing it, I made a mental note to do it on my blog as well.

I had to come up with all new truths and lies because many of the people who read my blog know the ones I usually use.  Also, this game stepped it up a notch from 2 truths to 5…so without further ado, here are my 5 Truths and 1 Lie.  See if you can spot my artfully crafted lie.

#1 -I believed that I lived with a ghost for 5 months while in college

We shall call her Gertrude

We shall call her Gertrude

#2 – I moved halfway across the country with only an air mattress, a bike, and 6 boxes packed into an SUV.

Here we go...

Here we go…

#3 – My first time behind the wheel, I drove through my sister’s closed garage door.

It looks better this way... really...

It looks better this way… really…

#4 – I committed insurance fraud by destroying my laptop and using “accident insurance” to have it replaced by a brand new laptop.  Which I then sold.

P.C. Load Letter?  What the fuck does THAT mean??

P.C. Load Letter? What the fuck does THAT mean??

#5 – I’ve performed as part of a Dueling Pianos show in a piano bar.

Don't request Piano Man, though.

Don’t request Piano Man, though.

#6 – I was crowned “Little Miss Brickhouse” at the age of 8 at a bar in Georgia.

Something like this...

Something like this…

Liar, Liar on the wall, which is the least truthful of them all…

End.

 

ANSWERS: HERE

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10 comments on ““Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off”

  1. Aussa Lorens
    March 21, 2014

    Oh my gosh, I’m thinking #4!

    Like

    • Deborah Ilene
      August 20, 2014

      I had forgotten you made a guess on here. I will soon enough reveal the answer… I need more people to guess first!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mandi
    August 20, 2014

    I’m going with dualing piano because I play the piano, too, so if it’s true, we can dual…this could be fun. I will play Piano Man, but I prefer Scenes From an Italian Restaurant

    Like

    • Deborah Ilene
      August 20, 2014

      Unrelated to whether or not that is the lie, I love piano bars. A LOT. I got major props at one for requesting Scenes.

      Actually, I got a round of applause called for by the musicians because (1) I wrote “please” and “thank you” on my request form; (2) I actually gave them money and apparently at that point in the night people had not yet begun to do that?!? and (3) because of my amazing taste in music. That’s a direct quote.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Mandi
        August 20, 2014

        Well…I concur with all of those things…like a doctor.

        Like

      • Deborah Ilene
        August 20, 2014

        This is going to be a beautiful blog friendship. I can feel it already!

        Like

      • Mandi
        August 20, 2014

        Oh I feel it too. Oh wait…kidding.

        Like

      • Mandi
        August 20, 2014

        I’m sorry, you’ll learn I’m a bit of a perv. If this offends you, you should let me know now. And I promise to be more…appropriate.

        Like

      • Deborah Ilene
        August 20, 2014

        Censorship need not exist here. Be a perv. You do you!

        Like

  3. ditchthebun
    August 20, 2014

    I’m going with #4, because if you sold the replacement then you still wouldn’t have a laptop 🙂

    Like

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This entry was posted on March 20, 2014 by in learning about me, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , .
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