Have you ever watched an episode of Law and Order (whatever version you prefer knowing that SVU is hands down the best one) and thought to yourself you moron! All you had to do was ____ and you would have gotten away with it!!! If you just said “yes I have,” you’re not alone. If not, stop lying to yourself. You know you’ve thought it.
Well, regardless, I obviously have. And to an extent that you probably have not…
I’m not an evil genius and I do not plot how I would harm someone when they do me wrong. I really don’t. But here’s the thing. I could probably get away with murder.
Again. Please be assured I would never murder anyone. I’m really bad with the Capri Sun (joke courtesy of Daniel Tosh.)
So here it is. Here’s how I would get away with murder. Or rather the precautions I’d take that NO ONE on Law and Order ever seems to take.
Yes, I am aware that I am a sick sick sick person. If you’re just learning that you may want to go back to the beginning of this blog (2009) and get learned.
Readers (and anyone who comes across this ever): please know that none of my suggestions are actually fail-safe. If you’re dumb enough to get advice on how to murder someone from a humor-related blog post pointing out the flaws of murders on a fictional television show, you may want to at least go get your GED first… Also, please know you should NEVER murder someone.
But yeah, snitches get stitches, or whatever…