…More Than Sweet Potatoes

It’s Time to Slut it Up, Ladies!

Unless you’re under the age of 13, in complete denial or live in Utah (sorry, that’s a gross assumption…I apologize for how this sentence ends) you know that most girls use Halloween as an excuse to wear little to no clothing with fewer negative reactions than on the other 364 days of the year.  I’m not particularly exempt from this, but I tend to be moderately modest…even in my sluttiness.  So let’s discuss Halloween costumes for a minute…

Once you hit the teenage years, girls costumes stop being adorable and smushy and start being skimpy and inappropriate.  Graduate from high school and the costumes become straight up stripper.  If you really think about it for a minute, every costume aimed at adult females are things that strippers wear all the time.  You’re not a bee, you’re a stripper dressed as a bee.  You’re not a nurse, you’re a stripper dressed as a nurse.  The only difference is that you don’t disrobe when the music starts.  At least I hope you don’t.  If you do, I hope that you wait til you’re in your own home with whatever random specimen of human you beer-goggle yourself into believing is a good idea to bring home.

Then something brilliant happens.  Halloween becomes an expression of wit and humor.  Sometimes it’s still about being a whore on wheels, but at least we know you were trying to be Roller Girl, not “stripper roller skating restaurant server.”  All of the sudden group costumes are awesome and witty puns (Google “One Night Stand” costume for a lame but decent example) make you the coolest person at the party.  My favorite witty costume was thought up by my BFF(AEAEAE), Erin, but I can’t tell you what it is because it’s hers to create and rock one day…but my point is, being creative TRUMPS slut.  Though every guy reading this will probably disagree with this thought.  Actually, I bet they’d prefer a SEXY (not slutty) witty costume.

So what are you dressing up as for Halloween?  Please do not be lame, put on a cat ear head band and call it a costume.  If you’re going to be lame on the physical costume aspect, be witty with the concept (i.e. when Jim went as Facebook on The Office.)

Below are some of my past Halloween costumes.

 **From left to right:
Row 1:
50s Flight Attendant (2008)
Mean Girls (I’m Regina, obviously?  Also, this was actually for Homecoming, but whatever.) (2007)
Bumble Bee (Gizmo is a bee too) (2010)
Belle (Slutty Belle, actually) (2010)

Row 2:
Carmen San Diego (2011)
Jessica Glitter (2011)
Formal Bunny (Not from Halloween, Actually from my bday that year, but, again, whatever.) (2012)
Giraffe (2012)

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2 comments on “It’s Time to Slut it Up, Ladies!

  1. Unknown
    October 17, 2013

    Before I read the costume descriptions, I was hoping the one of you with the keyboard was Jessica Glitter! Fantastic. You are my fave.

    Like

  2. Quirky Chrissy
    October 20, 2013

    I wanted to be Carmen Sandiego (I've got the red jacket!) but Brian vetoed being Waldo. Like a hundred times. Oh well. I always make my own costumes these days. Not only is the quality better, but I feel super proud of my mad skillz with a glue gun and scissors.

    Like

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This entry was posted on October 17, 2013 by in costume, creative, dress up, Halloween, October, Slut, slutty, witty.
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