Yesterday, a wonderful thing happened: my super-friend, Karen, came into town for the weekend. I use the term “super-friend” with ginger and earnest considering the entire basis for our friendship boils down to a 4 day weekend in which I invited 6 strangers to live in my house with me while we came together to play in a kickball tournament. When we went out for the pre-tournament bar crawl, I was really excited. So was she! When I was ready to go home and pass out, so was she! When after the tournament was over everyone wanted to go out while I wanted to sit on the couch and drink, so did she! Naturally our 4 days together formed a super-friendship, and a super-handshake.
So when the opportunity of another South Florida tournament arose – in the form of an all-girls tournament happening this weekend – the first text I sent was to Karen.
In less than one day an additional 5 people will settle in my apartment for the weekend of fun that is a kickball tournament. My place will again become The [last name redacted] Frat-House and I could not be more excited. Sure, my personal space will be invaded, but a short weekend of fun and playing with friends I’ve yet to meet sounds like an adventure I’m more than willing to go on. Provided, I’m going to want to do absolutely nothing for the entire 7 days following, I will ebb and flow with the changes. I expect a 2 hour hot bath will happen on Sunday evening.
Things to know about living in The [last name redacted] Frat-House:
1. Everybody poops. It’s better if we all just acknowledge it.
2. You are the owner of about 75 ft of square footage. Expect your shit to get touched or moved.
3. I own the place (or rather, I rent it) so please leave it close to the way you found it.
4. Drugs and alcohol left on the premises becomes mine. Unless you’re the person who left Advil Liqui-gels at my house last time and asked me to USPS them to you. Seriously. That happened.
5. There will be no sex while staying at The Frat. Only I should be allowed to bang in my house, and I am not going to be doing that where 6 people are within earshot on one of many air mattresses.
6. There are no other rules. It’s a Frat House in spite of point number 5.