Top 10 (or 49) Sex Questions Answered in Fewer Than 20 Words
We abbreved. It’s 49 questions. Answered by us. We’re just as good as Cosmo for this stuff… trust us. Here’s a picture of the original article. It’s in the May 2012 edition that you can pick up on newstands NOW. I firmly believe you will love our answers SO MUCH MORE!!!!
1. Should I give him oral before we start having sex or will he peak too quickly? Yes
2. What’s the best way to have shower sex? In the shower, preferably with the water on.
3. Should I fondle his nipples during foreplay? Giggles…
4. What’s a hot sex related gift to give my guy? Naked
5. I’ve had a lot of partners, am I in danger of making my vagina looser? Yes. You whore.
6. How can I initiate getting him to go down on me? Push his head down and leave your hand on his head.
7. Why do I orgasm easier when I am on top? It’s called the clitoris. You’re welcome.
8. I heard guys love to see you touch yourself. What should I do? Touch yourself.
9. What’s the easiest way to 69? One of you should face the other direction.
10. How do we deal with the condom without ruining the mood? Don’t use one. It’s 2012, everyone has had the U.P.S.
11. What can I use to tie up my guy? A really long phone conversation.
12. Should I let my guy watch me masturbate? Yes. You whore.
13. What’s the secret to giving a great hand job? Use your hands. Or if you’re a monkey, feet work, too.
14. When he’s giving me oral, what should I do with my hands? Punch him in the face.
15. What are some things I can do to his testicles to get him hot? Anything
16. What’s a hot thing to do after sex? Pee. Seriously though, go pee.
17. How can I make my guy last longer during sex? Do it twice. See question 1.
18. What do I do when I need a break from giving oral? Let him put it in your butt.
19. Should I control how loud I moan? Yes. Your roommate, parents and cousins are listening through the door.
20. Does his body give off signals when he is about to ejaculate? Yes. And it’s IckStream!!!
21. What’s the best way to have sex during my period? Penis in Vagina still works.
22. What should I do with my hands when giving him oral? Punch him in the face.
23. What can I say that will really turn him on during sex? “You’re way better than your brother”
24. What is the best position for a small space? Like the back seat of a volkswagon?
25. How can I really turn him on with my breasts? Have them. 2 of them.
26. What’s a hot position for a quickie? Penis in Vagina still works
27. What is the hottest thing I can wear while having sex? Full armor with gauntlets and chain mail, and a mustache. Or a parka.
28. Is there a wild way to use lube that will surprise my guy? Spray it in his face. Supersoak that ho.
29. If I don’t want to kiss my boyfriend after he performs oral on me, what do I do? Get comfortable with your vagina.
30. What’s a sexy song to do a strip tease to? Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman – Britney Spears
31. What can I do after I tie him up? Rob him.
32. Is there a move I can do to get him extra hard? Diet and Exercise.
33. What’s the best food to bring in to the bedroom? Soup.
34. My guy says regular condoms lessen the sensation of sex for him. What’s the alternative? Sandwich bags.
35. Sometimes clear fluid squirts out of me during sex. What is it? Did you bring soup into the bedroom?
36. My boyfriend and I want to spice up our role playing. What can we try? Magic: The Gathering
37. Can you suggest a great song to have wild sex to? Itsy Bitsy Spider
38. How do vibrating penis rings work? Via battery
39. Do condoms work underwater? Yes. Double up though. Triple up in a hot tub, or a porn star.
40. Do certain foods affect the way I taste down there? Yes. Be sure to rub sugary foods in and around your vagina.
41. I want to ambush my guy. What will surprise him? Clowns
42. How can I make oral sex mind blowing? Russian Roulette Style. Shoot him in the head.
43. What’s a hot way to surprise him with a quickie? Burning oil on his flesh.
44. How do I give great phone sex? Use your words
45. How do I let him know I’m in to spanking? Grab that sorority paddle and let loose!
46. How long does he need to re-boot before round two? Are they velcro or tie?
47. How should semen taste and smell? Bad
48. What’s a lesser known erogenous zone on a guys body? Try the Ulna. Let us know when you find it.
49. How can I use a vibrator on my guy? Put it in his butt when he’s not looking.